Honesty is a virtue we often celebrate, but there's a deeper level of authenticity that transcends mere truth-telling: Rigorous Honesty. It's a profound commitment to truthfulness that can lead to personal growth and authentic connections with others. However, some truths and deep personal experiences can be very heavy to carry and may require the guidance and support of a trained professional, such as a therapist or counselor/coach.
Rigorous honesty calls for acknowledging our subjective truths without denial or downplaying, even if these truths are difficult to confront. To understand the difference between 'honesty' and 'rigorous honesty,' let's explore a few scenarios:
Honesty: You admit to your friend that you made a mistake on a project you were working on together.
Rigorous Honesty: You openly discuss the reasons behind the mistake, reflecting on your shortcomings and areas where you could improve, showing vulnerability and a genuine desire to learn from that experience.
Honesty: You tell your partner that you had a tough day at work.
Rigorous Honesty: You delve into the emotions you experienced throughout the day, sharing your fears, frustrations, and vulnerabilities, allowing your partner to understand your inner world more deeply.
Honesty: You confess to a sibling that you accidentally broke their favorite mug.
Rigorous Honesty: You explain the circumstances surrounding the mug's breakage and take full responsibility for your actions, showing remorse and a sincere willingness to make amends.
These examples illustrate how rigorous honesty demands a deeper level of self-awareness and a willingness to open up to others. It goes beyond surface-level admissions and explores the complexities of our emotions, experiences, and personal truths.
One memorable example that has been repeated over the years, particularly within groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, highlights the distinction between honesty and rigorous honesty:
Honesty: You tell your neighbor you stole a rope.
Rigorous Honesty: There was a cow attached to the end of the rope.
This humorous but powerful example underscores the importance of unreserved truthfulness in our interactions with others, no matter how uncomfortable or challenging it may be.
Embracing rigorous honesty means unburdening ourselves by sharing our real truth, even if it's shame-based, with those who can hold space for us. In doing so, we pave the way for emotional healing and freedom. By acknowledging our subjective truths, we free ourselves from the weight of unspoken words and allow for genuine connection, understanding, and personal growth.
Rigorous honesty is the compass that leads us toward authenticity, personal growth, and meaningful relationships.
Reach out and let’s have a conversation!